SSRI Anti depressants can kill your pleasure... forever, but they don't tell you that

Imagine never feeling pleasure again, sexual pleasure, love tingles, butterflies in your stomach, that warm loving glow.

I had suffered from severe depression for years, from high school even. Dark periods of hell that consumed me and affected my daily life, and people around me. Days of wishing I was dead to ease the pain, crying each time I woke up in the morning realising it had to live another life in the day of me again. It has ruined my career, relationships, friendships and more.

When I got older I tried to learn how to manage it, but my worst periods got worse, my level of hell fell deeper each episode. I had been prescribed anti depressants throughout my bad times by the GP but had never taken them. I was always of the mind I am not depressed I have a rubbish life... how wrong I was.

2016 my father passed away 4 weeks after being told he had cancer, the loss shocked me to the core, losing a parent is life changing in itself. 2017 started a fresh and I tried to get on with my life, then one day at home I blacked out for a few seconds. Scared I phoned 999 I thought my time was up. It was a kind of panic attack and I went on to have more in the following weeks. They truly scared me and I agreed to start the SSRI anti depressant Sirtraline and I stuck with them so as to not go through that horrific blackout panic attack again.

weeks later I started to feel amazing, pure contentment and happiness for no reason at all, It was then that I realised that this was how "normal" people feel and that I had not experienced it all my life, it was a life changing moment for me that made me recognise that depression is an illness in the mind and to see it for what it is.

I stayed on the sirtraline for only 18 months and then weaned off, 2019 was a stressful year for me workwise but I was glad that I didn't have to take the medication and could get through it.

September 2019 I started realising that when I was ejaculating there was no pleasure, like nothing, a few weeks later I started to get pains in my groin too, and even worse my penis went completely numb. I went the Doctor, they did me a blood test and said everything was normal, and sent me for a urology scan of my groin area which was normal. Other than that they didn't give me any other reason as to what it could be.

So I started researching into what it could be. Pelvic Stress came up on youtube, for people who are stressed and work sitting down can cause the groin to tighten and in effect stop everything working as they should. I purchased a doughnut seat off amazon and started to do the exercises they had suggested.

by January 2020 nothing had changed and my symptoms of no pleasure had got a lot worse, I could no longer feel emotions, love, the warm feeling when you hug someone, I could look at someone I felt attracted to but felt nothing. I had been talking to a local guy and he came around, he was so hot but I felt nothing at all, it was such an awkward experience, you realise taking the pleasure feelings out of sex and it is just 2 bodies moving around. It was very strange indeed.

February 2020 I continued to search for an answer and stumbled across PSSD,

Post SSRI Sexual Dysfunction, BINGO! I thought, this is definitely what I have.

My feeling relief was short lived when I started to read the stories of other guys who have this.

I found that SSRI anti depressants can PERMANENTLY damage your pleasure receptors in the brain and there were thousands of people across the world experiencing the same issue. Finasteride (propecia) the hair loss drugs also causes this problem in some.

I went back to the doctor, he said he had no knowledge of it and maybe I was depressed again, annoyed at the dismissal I left knowing they would not be any help. I went back to google and found DR David Healy a British Doctor now living the US was trying to get it noticed and even had a $70'000 reward for anyone who can find the cure.

I joined facebook groups and talk daily with the other people experiencing this, even more heart breaking is that some of these folks have had this for over 20 years, and many kill themselves.

I looked into the science behind it, I really wanted to know what the SSRI's had done to my brain, I saw that they affect the part of the receptor that retakes in the serotonin, it keeps more of it in the receptor so that you feel good. The problem is that the part that retakes the serotonin gets messed up and other feel good chemicals rely on that eg dopamine.

Started buying supplements that can help with dopamine and found sparks of feelings I had not had for a long time, but they never lasted, and sometimes didn't work at all. December 2020 I am still suffering with this condition, the doctors are still ignorant to the fact that SSRI's can cause this problem, I think they know but would rather not admit it due to the repercussions.

I am facing a future with no love, no sex, no feel good feelings due to to SRRI's

and am angry that If I had been told they can permanently cause you to lose your love sex and feelings I would not have taken them. There are alternatives and anti depressants that are not in the SSRI group, but no one told me.

Sure they don't do this to everyone, but I can guarantee that if you are one of the people it does affect then you will know about it and it becomes the only focus on your mind. For some it is life ending, others life ruining, and I decided to talk about it to help others. People still say to me "oh i don't feel like sex when i'm feeling low" and that is when I realise people don't get the real issue here.

We take for granted our pleasure feelings, you don't believe that you can be robbed of them because it all feels so natural, but the truth is they can be taken away forever.

I wanted to reiterate that this does not affect everyone and most people come off SSRI anti depressants and back to a normal life, they can be life changing for the good and save people's lives but we cannot ignore the fact they are also ruining people's lives, it must be discussed, people must know the risk and be offered alternatives.

Anti depressants saved my life, and and then ruined it.

If you feel live you are experiencing this problem please email me at leeedwarduk@outlook.com or check out Dr David Healy's website https://rxisk.org/prize

Lee Edward